Monday

Another "I feel like shit" day
Fucken headaches
Skipping 2D design

I came home and slept for a while

Watched Lie To Me (It's an amazing tV show!) for a little bit

Ate dinner and layed in my bed thinking about alot of things
Been listening to Breaking Benjamin alot (: they're amazing

Anyways goodnight, tomorrow is my first day at work!

てか

何でこんな泣かないと行けないの？
メソメソしてる場合じゃないでしょ？
成績と卒業が優先でしょ？
大学4年間行って戻って日本で働く
色んな人、家族に会えなくても
本当に私の事を思ってるなら
心配しなくても大丈夫でしょ

って自分に言い返したい

Why

My dad is going to leave Japan this May because of his job.
It was all up to my brother, if my brother goes my mom is goin. And he decided to go to Alabama. So my family is moving to Alabama. My mom will come back to Japan in 2 years though. And the whole reason why we left my hometown in Ohio (about 5 yrs ago) is because my dad wanted to quit his job. I found that out about few weeks ago, I was fucken pissed off. Cause I went through alot that I don't even wanna talk about. But I'm over it.
And other smaller reasons were because my grandparents getting old and my parents wanted to take care of them (Anything could happen) especially if they're 80 years old

Why do I have to deal with this right when I finally got things straightened out

I have too many things coming at me all at once. And they all come at the right time.

I can't handle seeing my family moving to Alabama? Where am I going to live? I can't take all the pressure I have applying for college/university

I'm not capable of handling this by myself
I can't go through this pain by myself
But somehow I knew this day would come
Why do I always come back to this place?
The place where I cry myself to sleep every night and where I stay ay my house will no longer be my home.

I'm back to where I started

--Dear agony by Breaking Benjamin

Song of the moment.

Friday

I had my biology class and my Spanish class

I don't have very good grades
But I'll get it up

Other than that, after 7 o'clock I went out to drink with my friends
Then we went out to sing karaoke

Thursday

I had world history from 9:30 til 11:00 am

I am not tired today because I went to bed early... Around 11:15 ish? Until 7:45 am lol

But I need to go home rest today..
I wish I could of went lifting and run tomorrow at the gym because there are only few ways to relieve my stress

1. Running/Exercising
2. Playing Xbox live (I know I'm weird lol)
3. See someone in particular (:

And that's about it lol

Today was alright except I realized that I can't let go of this hate until I graduate and never see this existence for the rest of my life.

And that's okay cause I only have 1 months and some weeks left

Wow... I'll be finishing up my AA degree soon, that's fucken scary

I'm on my way back home listening to Secrets and Whisper and Sleeping with Sirens

Those two bands are different categories of music but they're both amazing!!! [Your probably like you always say that for all the rest of the bands, in all the entries you've been writing] NO! That's not true because I know and have great confidence in music (Taste in music)
I'm not some retard who likes Kesha and AKB and other bands that have absolutely no talent lmao

Sorry about my bad language

But this is my blog so... lol

Anyways I forgot my stupid plastic umbrella so now I'm walking getting soaked in the rain lol

Headache

I've had a headache alllllllll day.
Seriously what the fcuk!
I hope I don't have the flu.....

That would piss me off because I start my first part time job next week

And today's Spanish midterm was probably a disaster because apparently we were suppose to focus more about phrases we learned last week and we thought the midterm will cover everything we've been doing so far. But it ends up, there were so many things we did on last Friday, and not focused on what we've been doing! That sorta pissed everyone off buy this is only 10% of the grade.. If I'm correct?

The participation grade is 25% or something so that's more important lol

Agh my head hurts, it feels like its spinning!!!!

Today was just one of those days you'd wish you didn't have to feel like shit all day lol

But I've been listening to Breaking Benjamin ALL day!

Songs:
Breath
Evil Angel ( Especially from 2:26 til 2:51!)
Firefly
Home
Into the nothing
Lights out
And you can't forget "The Diary of Jane"!!!!!!

Those are the songs that I've been listening to over and over :)

Check it out! I'm 99.99% sure you won't regret listening to it!

I would also like to share this link
It's about these American soldiers that apparently didn't know how sensitive they should be about religion and culture in Afghanistan

http://www.theprovince.com/touch/news/story.html?id=6189919

Tuesday

I didn't update last night lol
I've been a bit busy!
Except last night I was playing Left 4 Dead with my Xbox friends for about 5 hours lol
Which was really fun :)

Its tuesday today and I had World history from 9:30 til 11:00 am

Then (once again) I was on Facebook for a while and I stated making my notecards for Spanish (officially started making those last week) because tomorrow is my midterm exam for Spanish!

I'll probably go home after I update this

I felt a bit down today

I just feel so much hate sometimes especially when your in the same room with someone you just can't stand
How dare you just come around and look like "your" better than me. Like "Your" the better person. You didn't even admit you were wrong.
I wouldn't want to see you even if the world was going to end.

Im sorry that I'm being very cruel and negative today.
But I have the right to say that. I've felt like this every time I see this person I don't even wanna say this name.
Why should I respect someone who doesn't respect you. Who didn't apologize properly they were the one who made your life miserable as fuck, embarrassing, and made you feel deeply in regret, made your self-esteem so low that you don't know where you stand.

I hope I don't have to see you for the rest of my life after I graduate from this college.

I hope I'll be able to overcome this hatred in time.

In a different perspective though I can say that I learned my lesson

And there's nothing for me to do except to move on and just be myself, not letting someone get under your skin because of your past mistakes.
But now I have someone I should love and not worry about my past.
He makes me forget my terrible mistakes and makes me a better person. I can't thank him enough, he doesn't know how much I appreciate him for looking at me as his great girlfriend. He's very special to me (:

But actually I know he knows that :)
that's why I'm posting this on blogger :)

Now off to go home and study some more for tomorrow!

The weekend

This weekend was so much fun!!!
Yesterday I went to my boyfriend's house around 2 pm!
We went to drive around to buy some bread for lunch! Those were delish!
Then we went to his house and on our way back driving around we listened to this song called The Answer by Daichi Miura. That song was the song I knew I'll love and while we were listening to it i danced in the car! He laughed so much because he thought it was hilarious (in a good way lol) how I moved my arms, I told him I danced like an "American" lol but he said I had the "Hiroko" style haha which is probably true lol
And then we got to his house, we watched this amazing movie called 時をかける少女! (Toki wo kakeru shoujo) it was about this mom who created this medicine to go back in time but she was on her way home she gets into an accident, and her daughter rushes to the hospital and she basically asked her daughter to go back in time to tell someone her mother knew when she was younger in 1972. And her adventure begins!
I cried couple times but I cry a lot in movies but it was an amazing movie!
When the movie was over it it was around 11:30 so we decided to go upstairs and played MW3 for a little while, til 2:30 ish in the morning lol
Then we took a shower, brush our teeth, and slept :)

Sunday February 19th, 2012
We woke up around 12:20 lol
We ate breakfast (:
Played MW3 and he played his acoustic guitar for a little bit
I really love listening to him play
Its so amazing how he can play such an amazing music and write lyrics
I respect him in so many ways
He is the best and best I never had
I couldn't ask him to be any better than who he is

And we got ready to leave and instead of dropping me off at his station he drove me to another station

Now I'm on my way home listening to Trapt and Woe Is Me
Traps has always been my favorite and always will be
Trapt started back in 1997
Trapt formed in Los Gatos, California. As lead singer Chris Taylor Brown, lead guitarist Robb Torres, and bass guitarist Peter Charell.

Woe is me is also an amazing band!
unlike Kesha and lady gaga wearing flashy and bitchy fashion walking around like idiots

Woe is me is from Atlanta, Georgia
Members
Austin Thornton
Cory Ferris
Michael Bohn
Ben Ferris
Kevin Hanson
Andrew Paiano
Hance Alligood

All their songs are my favorite :D
I realllly love this song "If not for ourselves" and from 0:52 til 1:15!!
Listen to it!
BTW I'm into Deathcore/Hardcore music and I do listen to other types of music but mainly Deathcore and hardcore haha
So if your into my type of music you'll love Woe Is Me

Anyways I might eat some pizza at my house because my brother ordered pizza for dinner

And study for biology's midterm exam tonight ....the exam is tomorrow (fuck!)

Saturday

I wake up every morning and get up from my bed and my back hurts reallllllly bad.
I have problems lol

Anyways!
Good morning and like I said yesterday I have plans this weekend (:
I'm  gonig to my boyfriend's house, leaving here in about 3 hours from now!
His house is about 2 hours from my house
But actually it takes about an hour by train and from his station he has to drive for an hour to go to his house.
I absolutely love where he lives because his town is surrounded by mountains and rivers!
The fresh air of nature, I remember when I was in his car driving on his way to his house, I rolled down the window and sticked my head out the window and I breathed in so much!
All I could smell was the smell of bonfire!! And smell of trees!
I felt so relaxed and it almost smelled similar to my hometown in Ohio where I used to live about 5 years ago :)
Ahem..so now I better get ready now..so..I guess I'll update this blog later (:

My current life

I dont know where to start. But let me first say that I saw someone on facebook about this "Blog page" And I thought it would be great to keep my own blog.

Well actually, today was sort of a weird friday lol
I woke up this morning, feeling kinda tired, but I was in a good mood by the time I left my house. Listening to "Escape in the Afternoon" by French Films.

French Films are "Indie Rock" from Espoo/Jarvenpaa, they formed in the year of 2010.
Johannes Leppänen - guitar, vocals
Joni Kähkönen - guitar, vocals
Mikael Jurmu - bass, vocals
Santtu Vainio - keyboards
Antti Inkiläinen - drums

They're amazing.

Anyways...
I only have 2 classes on friday, whcih was biology then spanish I
WhenI got to school at 9:30, I went to my stupid biology class, which was extremely boring.
At 11:30 til 12:50 its spanish, and that class was actually pretty good. I felt kinda weird all day though for some reason. And btw I wrote something on facebook about how I felt when I woke up this morning, about me living in Ohio (my hometown) and in Tokyo. Two completely differnt lifestyles, diffrent environment, etc. But I felt good about who I am now, I used to feel disconnected from alot of things but I figured myself out.

But we have midterms coming up for these two classes (fuck)

And then the rest of the day I was working on my personal statement letter so I can transfer to another college after Im done with this currently college I'm in.

And two of my friends and I went to copy ch.2 to ch. 5 quizzes  for biology, and this friend and I were talking about how gay it is to have 50% from the quiz and the other half is all these "new" questions.

And then...I worked on spanish for several hours, but I was being distracted from facebook and watching youtube for like an hour......... lol

I went home around 5:30 ish? Ate dinner, played guitar hero on wiii.

And then I went on facebook to check some things lol and I found someone using this blog then I thought,, "why don't I start my own blog!"

So here I am finishing up this blog...

I have some plans for the weekend, which I can't wait for (: Good but weird friday (I can't really explain how I felt today, it was just weird lol)