Mellow day

Studied for finals
Worked on my biology extra credit

Now I just got done eating cake. ♡

I am

I know I love you Jesus
Your love never fails
I need your guidance
Tell me where to go
I wanna go back to when I would worship you Lord
Sing Your praise
Go to church
Talk to Christians

I fear to death I have failed you Lord
And I'm so sorry that I let you down
All these years of pain and letdowns
I love you so much and I miss having you in my life

I believe my life was planned by you You created me
You showed me the way to be Christian
I believe in Jesus, and our Father, and spirit. I accept Jesus as my Savior

Today I will change my ways in everything and I will start over

Last day of 2D design!

My project is doneeee
I decided to do BMTH
And I love what I finished :D
One of my best friend helped me finish it lol
And this friend helped me finish it even after an hour after the class finished
So I thought to buy this friend some food, at Burger king :D

We talked for about 2~3 hours?
Had some good talks about life

I had a good day :) I have to study after I go home though :/ lol

Hm

I miss my love

Okay

Felt like shit last night
I don't wanna talk about it anymore
I don't even have the time to be upset right now
I do feel better after talking my best friend last night though.

I hope today will be a better day

Weekend before finals

I had a great weekend(:
I spent time with my boyfriend
And we talked alot
Alot about our future and about life
Religion and politics

Well on Friday he picked me up around 8 (but I was a bit late :/ lol)
And we had some dinner and we went upstairs to play mw3 on ps3 (:

On Sunday we went to this lake by his hometown (: and took some pictures :D

And we had "Ramen" for dinner it was delish :)

Then we went to Starbucks and talked for several hours :) and made us realize alot about each other♡

Rage

Sometimes I feel this switch on and off. This switch to feel an extreme anger for several seconds, seconds that feel like a mile away

I'd rip out your eyes with my own hands so you can never be able to see
I'd break your shins with my own hands to see you in agony
I'd brutally hit your face until your face is unrecognized
I'd cut your lips apart with my own hands so you can never talk

And Listening to Like Moths In Flames
"Faithless living" and "You won't be missed"
Really emphasizes how I feel during those few seconds

Stressing out

I had such a long day and a long week and Im so exhausted lately, and I have so many shit to do. Few things to do for my part time job, extra credits for biology, having to memorize tons of spanish wkst, read world history, and working on my final project for 2D design.

It's pretty fucken overwhelming
So lately I've been listening to alot of Deathcore music.

1. Bring Me The Horizon
2. Suicide Silence
3. Confide
4. Galatia
5. Memphis May Fire
6. Miss May I

5th Anniversary

Happy 5th Anniversary love ♡

International Festival

It was pretty amazing and so much fun!!!!!! I took so many pictures! Haha
Uploaded most of them on facebook(:

I get to see my boyfriend tomorrow I can't wait :DD♡

I ate alot of amazin fooood :D
And there were some great music performers and dancers (:
All the music and foooood was wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was a good day
Good friday!!!!!! (:

And after the festival some of my friends and I went to H&M to go window shopping (:

Oh and we coordinated this friend to make him look completely different (:

Int Festival

Can't wait til tomorrow (:
I made some puppy chow :D
They are delish!!! :DD

And I get to see my boyfriend this weekend!! Can't wait for that either!!!!!!

Worked for 8 hours today, really exhausted!!!! Reallllly tired :P

Piericings

I love my piericings :]
Now I have 8 :)
3 on the left
5 on the right

Suppose to be studying for biology quiz tomorrowz lol

Mkay well I guess I'll go to bed soon ish haha

Amazin weather

It's really cold outside but it's reallllllly sunny and amazin clear sky :]

Been listening to "Never Stop" by Safetysuit soooooo many times

It makes me think about my love :]

The lyrics goes like this:

I'll never stop trying
I'll never stop watching as you leave
I'll never lose my breath every time you look back at me
I'll never stop holding your hand
I'll never stop opening your door
I'll never stop choosing you
I'll never get used to you
You still beat my heart racing for you

This song is a reflection
This song is/for those who love/loved someone that is/was important to/for you.

I know I'll always love you no matter what. You'll always keep my heart beating.

So this band has a special drummer, guitarist, base, the vocalist
They are absolutely astonishing!!!
I love them so much :]

There's no "oh they kind of sound like" because Safetysuit is one of a kind

I've had a good day so far
I have to study for biology quiz tomorrow and play Xbox live with my friend who went to my college but he went to the home campus in the states

I have to keep in mind what I wanna do and finish this process of transferring to NY or OH or work here with my part time job for little bit over 6 months

My birthday

Being 20 does feel different when your social norms expect alot of new things from you lol

But really I had the most amazin birthday, celebrating with my family and my boyfriend!

But I started on my period on my birthday, that wasn't pleasant but that was like later at night so... It was all good :]
BTW on Friday my boyfriend and I were walking in the city where we all go out to drink or eat or to sing karaoke we saw our friends walking toward us. And we passed by them but we saw this friend standing there and asking us to join them to go out to drink for about 2 hours.

That was pretty fun, taking pictures, playin the ABC game, and chattin!
And after that my boyfriend and I spent our time together at TGIF, ate some food and we were getting ready to go and he seemed sick because he said he drinked alot. So I was worried and he said he's really feeling sick and I said you should drink alot of water!
Then he asked me to reach down and I was really confused!!!
Then BAM! It was a gift bag and I was really surprised again!!!!! He totally got me!!! :D He gave me this amazin neckless and I love it so much!!!! I'm wearing it everyday (:
And afterwards we went back to my house and spent all afternoon on Saturday together, ate pizza and bunch of other things, AND had an awesome birthday cake! (:

And we played little bit of black opa together and I had I go to work on Sunday by 2 pm.

It was a great weekend :]

Tests

I have tried to study in so many ways

1. Writing then down multiple times
2. Reading them over and over
3. Going over the notes
4. Memorize by using note cards
5. Study ahead of time

Okay the last one I have to fix because there are times where I don't study ahead because I feel like there's time lol

But other than getting 63 on my test today I can't wait for Friday and the weekend to come (:

I get to see my boyfriend tomorrow and Saturday!!!!!! I haven't seen him for about 2 weeks, a week and a half? Don't know what we're doing on sat but(:
I have to make my own bank account today (I'm on my way home)

And then make some vocabularies for my work, about 500 terms lol
and I have to make a sign up sheet do student council (:

That's about it for today!

Lately

All I'm doing is ruining everything

Why do I always do this

To the most person I care about

But I realized I also have to love God the most. I need to go back to the habit of praising and praying with Jesus in my life.
I'm returning back to Him.
He is who I need in my life the most
Im thousands miles away from You Lord, I know I am doing the wrong
I need to put my life together

Monday

Boring biology class
Spanish can be a fun class
2D design is worse than biology lol

My song of the morning was

The rise by Palisades
This song makes me feel energetic
It has the beat like Sleeping with Siren and the vocalist has an amazing voice like sort of A skylit drive (:

For the rest of the day I'll just spend my boring Monday lol

Biology Quiz

Mkay so today is Friday
I have good plans tonight!
I hope my boyfriend can come this weekend!
I have trivia night today from 5:00 til 6:00 or 6:30 (:
Then I might go out and drink with my friends (:
I was hoping my boyfriend could come over today but actually he might have a cold :/ so hopefully he'll be better soon!!!!

Last night was a shitty night but today is much better and it's Friday!! :D
I was in biology class, we had a quiz today and I think I got the best grade of alllll the quizzes I've taken!
But because of a very special reason :) lol
さっき few of my friends were going to the movies with who I shall not name (because I don't wanna waste my time lol) 3人には映画楽しんでねって言ったけどあいつには完全にシカトw
すごい気持ち良かった！
てめーは友達って言う意味も分かってないし笑笑
笑えるぐらいww
私は人を大切にできるから
あんた見たいに人を振り回さない
良い都合で人を使わない
And これからはてめーが堂々な attitude だすならこっちも堂々としてやるクソ

お構いなくどんっどん余裕を持って
もうてめーの事なーんとも思ってないし、こっちが振り回されてどうすんだよ！これはうちのレイクランド最後の大学生活、もう後1ヶ月だし
これからは自分を許せるように頑張ろう！一切気にしないし
1ミリも I have nothing towards you

よし！色々やる事あるし！
頑張ろう！！！

悔しい

It's hard to let this go
I can't let this hate go
I said I will and move on
But I'm still here sick and disgusted
I can't stand your existance
But I want to be more like someone who can forgive easily even if they done terrible things to you
I want to be stronger for someone I know I love
だから頑張る for you
好きな人の為ならできる
I know I have to forgive myself in time
I also know that I have you close to my heart. Your the closest person I want you to be.
So I don't need to have all the worries in the world because what we have is so much bigger than that

And that's the first time I ever said that